I've been extremely inspired lately. I have many pieces in my head just waiting to be released onto some sort of blank flat surface and be deemed a work of art. now that I'm about to go to school for art, I feel like all my old stuff is just worthless and no longer significant at this point. I'm so ready to reach my full potential, but I guess that's what the next four years are supposed to help accomplish. all I know is that school hasn't even started, and I feel I've made the best decision of my life already. I suppose time will tell if a life of art is truly my fate or not. I'm just thankful to finally be past the limiting and seemingly unprogressive stage of art that high school binds you with.

but anyway, to sort of get back to my original point before I started feeling sorry for my worthlessness as an artist, there are like 20 ideas in my head for pieces, but as usual a few things are holding me back. money is always an issue, especially now since I've become infatuated with oil painting and that is an incrediably expensive hobby to maintain. another is commissions. I've never had so much of a demand for them until this past year, and this summer I'm getting loaded down. they mostly consist of lame portraits too. nothing very artistic at all. pretty much people just want carbon copies of their fake smile photographs. maybe I shouldn't complain, because it helps with the money situation, but it's just sort of agonizing to tediously work on. I feel like I'm inhibiting my inner true creativeness and originality to appease people. I just really hope that's not what becoming a professional artist is about.

anyway, I seriously apologize to anyone who watches me. I have no idea when I'll finally get the chance to create something even worth putting up here. for once school cannot come soon enough. not that I'm not enjoying my summer, just not from an artistic standpoint. I hope everyone else is having a more productive summer than myself.